Whole Hearted

“There’s a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. And this hole in my heart can’t be filled by the things I do. Hole Hearted” by Extreme

This blog is being shared on a super rainy, somewhat dreary Valentine’s Day in Cali. I am sure for some, the weather represents their mood or state of mind perfectly. While many of us share wishes of love and happiness to those we hold dear, there are always those who are mourning the loss of someone they love, the loss of a relationship, serious health issues or just plain loneliness in general. It’s my prayer that these next few paragraph’s bring you hope and even a few ways to guard and protect your heart, the most important organ in the body.

In case you couldn’t tell, I am new to blogging. I intentionally don’t blog daily or even on a schedule. I’m not writing to get noticed or to advance my business or career. I only want to share a little insight of what weighs heavy on my heart in the hopes that in some way the story or words will help or encourage another living soul. That being said, God lets ideas marinate for a while in my brain before He prompts me to go ahead and write it all down.

The truth is, I am a bit torn about Valentine’s Day this year. Though I’d like to just spew love at you in heaps, as the holiday demands, I’d also like to get a little “real” with you, if you will allow it.

A year ago, to the day, our family suffered an incredible and shocking loss. My cousin, Erin Love (I called her “Ernie Elizabeth”), died unexpectedly in her home early Valentine’s Day morning. She left behind a husband, three young children, her parents and a sister. This was the second daughter my aunt and uncle had lost and the second sister my cousin, Aimee had to say good-bye to. Not to mention those precious children left without their mother and their dad who had lost his best friend in an instant. How quickly lives can be forever changed. The ache in their souls and the cries in their hearts had to be deafening that day and in the days to follow as we all struggled for understanding. Death truly does leave a hole in our hearts. There are no words that can comfort such a great loss, the loss of a child. As a mother, I can’t even begin to understand the loss of not only one, but two children. {I love you, Aunt Darlene, Uncle Chuck and Aimee…ALWAYS}

There are so many hurting this Valentine’s Day. So many suffering loss in one form or another. Every time I hear of someone in need or someone who is feeling hopeless, my heart squeezes a little tighter as I whisper a prayer that they are enveloped by God’s healing love and sense of peace. I always wish that there was more I could do to help. This blog’s dedicated to you.

The truth is, no one knows why bad or unspeakable things happen to good people. Ministers are taught to tell us that it is because we live in a fallen world. Well, that is true enough. But it certainly doesn’t heal a broken or wounded heart.

As the band Extreme shares with us in their song, “Hole Hearted”; “Life’s ambition occupy my time, Priorities confuse the mind, Happiness one step behind, This inner peace I’ve yet to find. Rivers flow into the sea, Yet even the sea is not so full of me, If I’m not blind why can’t I see, That a circle can’t fit where a square should be. CHORUS: There’s a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. And this hole in my heart can’t be filled with the things I do. Hole hearted…” I especially find interesting the line in the song that states “If I’m not blind why can’t I see”. Don’t we all feel that way at times? Why can’t I see the meaning in all of this? Many times in my own life I have found myself humming this song and relating to its lyrics.

There is purposefully a hole in our hearts that we are all born with. It is my belief that we spend our lives trying to fill it up with love, relationships, religion, careers, trips, material things, social media, etc. We try to fill this empty part of ourselves with one thing, maybe even to the extreme, only to have that very thing taken away from us. Or that thing that we’ve chosen to fulfill us becomes all consuming to the point of risking our health and most likely our happiness. Maybe the thing we’ve chosen to fill that hole in our heart with even costs us our very soul. Maybe we become disillusioned with our hole-filler and feel discouraged, disappointed, hopeless or even forgotten.

In my opinion, God is the only one who can fill up this hole in our lives. If I have faith in nothing, there is no hope and I lose myself. God fills me up with His love and hope every day of my life. Though I will never understand why I’ve had to go through such challenging times, or why people I love have had unthinkable tragedies happen to them, I will rely totally on my heavenly Father who loves us all the same to see me through. He wants us healed. He wants us “whole hearted”.

“Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

I don’t know what you are going through today. Believe me, I wish I had all of the answers or knew the exact words of comfort to say when devastation hits. No one on this earth will ever completely understand your journey. One thing I do know is that God has told us in His Word, “…Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 I believe it. We are never alone, even though it may feel that way. He loves you! He knows you by name! Nothing can ever separate us from His love. God IS love. One thing I’ve learned about Jesus is that he is crazy about you. He showed us his ultimate love by giving up his earthly life for us on that cross.

With that being said, I can’t help but share some physical heart tips along with the spiritual. It’s in my blood. Are you wondering what simple things we can do now to protect or guard our hearts? So happy you asked that question 😛 The wellness coach in me would like to share a few healthy ideas with you: Consuming apples, blueberries and bananas (and yes, even small doses of dark chocolate) may help to protect your heart. Omega 3 rich walnuts, fish, and flaxseeds also help to prevent heart disease. Garlic and cayenne pepper helps to lower cholesterol and the curcumin in turmeric aids in the prevention of artherosclerosis. Please don’t forget that healing daily dose of laughter! It truly helps. (See previous blog: “Laughter Heals”)

Most of all, remember, the One who knows you BEST loves you MOST. And, He wants you to be “Whole-Hearted”. Happy Valentine’s Day!


The Fitness Dr.

3 thoughts on “Whole Hearted”

  1. I have just read this and I do know loss and pain; although it is different than yours and other people’s loss and pain; still it is a loss and/or a pain that cuts deep in so many ways. Honestly Jesus is the only One True thing that gets me through. I too am broken like so many others and try from time to time to fill that space or “hole” if you will, with earth goods, and earthly emotions. They can and do “feel” like they help for a bit, but I never looked at it like you have described it here, said so perfectly. I almost feel like “How could I have missed what I needed to do? or How was I so Blind?” I ask that because no one has ever said it better than you did, the only thing that fills the gap in me is Christ and His overwhelming, all consuming love for me. His Grace and Mercy. I can say I have suffered so severely in my life, more than I would have liked for sure and when I have turned to God in those times He carried through and made me whole. I had forgotten that in my busy bustle of crazy adult working/parenting life. Thank you for bringing me back to my center. I am in a business meeting and had a break so I decided to read this and almost cried… tears that lead you back to God as your center painful or not can only be good tears so; Thank you for centering me again.

    Your Sister In Christ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ambria, for taking the time to respond today! I’m so sorry for the deep hurts and losses that you have had to endure. I pray that God continues to heal and hold you closer each day. I am sure that if you let Him, He will enable you to bless others who have gone through similar challenges. It’s obvious to me that God is most definitely up to something amazing! Stay the course, my friend. “God’s Got This” (& so do you)

      Warmest blessings.


  2. Dear Steph,
    I just happened upon your blog tonight. You have such a gift and are able to share your faith and insight so clearly.
    Your words are true and sweet to my ears. Praying for God’s blessings to you and your family always.
    I love you always,
    Aunt Darlene


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